why do what i'm doing?

why would i set out to quit my lucrative, rewarding day job in hopes of becoming a poorly paid independent christian artist/worship leader?

for the money? for status/fame? for a sense of accomplishment? none of the above.

the wimpy answer is "because i think i'm supposed to." i feel like it's a calling, a vision of mine, something the Big Guy wants me to do.

the blood sweat and tears answer (recited back to myself in moments of heartbreak, disappointment, and/or humiliation) is "because i have to." it keeps me up at night. it's my default daydream at any given time. it's the only thing i wish i were doing, whether i'm in a good mood or a bad one, whether i'm tired or wide awake.

it will haunt me until i am leading at least a small number of people to the throne of the Creator through worship song and through visual experience at least 2-3 days a week. i will feel incomplete until then.

so there you have it. my reasons. for you to know, and for me to look back upon.