rough worship experience #1

i don't usually back-blog. but for the anonymity of the group I'll be discussing below, I wanted to wait until ample time had passed.

setting: young adult service where my band and I were asked to lead worship.

the scene: we set up in a large auditorium. one that could hold at least 2,000 people. it was an evening service, so we didn't expect a huge crowd and that was cool with us. we got their huge/incredible sound system fired up and were playing pretty tightly together in sound check.

what went wrong: when it was time for the service to start, there were about 12 people present, including leaders. picture it: gi-normous room. big sound and visuals. itty-bitty group.

we were ready to start and the sound person wanted us to wait a second. there was dead silence. I said "big room!" into the mic, laughing.... not even a sound or even a chuckle was made.

we led worship and were really feeling it. getting into worship like my boys are good at doing. no major mistakes or trainwrecks - always a blessing. so as I start to look out at the small gathering toward the front of this auditorium, I see blank faces. nothing. just apathy.

only 1-2 of them would continue clapping, even after I asked them to clap along. nobody raised their hands to worship - even during some of the more worshipful songs. and a few had actually sat down. i specifically recall a person slouched back in his auditorium chair, the side of his cheek perched on his fist, and a completely flat expression while we were worshipping.

this person was easily the most apathetic of the bunch. and he was one of the lead pastors.

my issues: i've led worship before where the congregation was less than excited to have me as their worship leader. and our sound is pretty specific, stylistically. so I'm a grown-up and can handle it if not every group we lead is ecstatic to have us. for some reason though, this got to me. in fact, i was infuriated.

i was a little bitter because the leaders didn't care about the situation. because we felt no sense of welcome as visitors. because they seemed they weren't even remotely interested in worshipping, let alone in having us.

i should also acknowledge that i was paying my band to play, and i didn't get paid for the service - and i definitely didn't sell enough CDs to cover my costs. nobody apologized for, or even acknowledged the fact that i was "in the hole" for that gig financially. not even a love offering was suggested for us. that might have contributed to my bitterness as well.

what i learned: not every worship set will be a great one. even if my band and I do our very best, and are actually getting beyond playing to where we're worshipping. i shouldn't expect to be recieved warmly at all times or to have people excited about worship. and I shouldn't take myself so seriously (that is, I can take worship seriously, but not myself).

this isn't a scientific theory, where I can take it to different environments and try to recreate a specific response. it isn't a formula. it's people and their God. and most of us worship differently from each other - in a good way. I should value that and not be bitter.

finally, I should be more prepared. not just prepared to play, or prepared spiritually to worship. but prepared to engage people more. from that point on, I began to prepare little stories or brief explanations of songs from life experiences. most of them funny, all of them short. when stuff like this goes down, I've got a little trick in my back pocket to help me disarm them. yes, disarm.

this group needed to be disarmed and i wasn't ready for it. they had their guards up and i let them stay up. i'm more ready now. thanks for humbling me Lord. thanks for making me grow.