i'm finding myself in a little predicament. i've been invited to play a worship/concert gig in north carolina and I can't find bandmates to play with me!
one weird part of the deal is that the 3-4 people I had always hoped would want to jam with me again are, for one reason or another, less than enthusiastic. not that there should be any undue expectation or pressure on them. i shouldn't expect them to drop what they're doing and join forces with me again just because we've played together before. it's just a funny thing I guess.
it's definitely more of a pressure I put on myself. it unearths a lot of little regrets about mistakes I've made in the past.
for example: you know the guy/girl who gets involved in a spitfire, passionate relationship for a brief time, then dumps the other person and moves on? well i'm that guy, except with BANDS. i take these great band situations, write and gig and record and put on shows that impress strangers. then I leave - usually leave the entire state, along with leaving said band. it happened in pittsburgh, then in raleigh, then in arizona.
one good friend put this spin on my lack of band commitment: "at least you're able to find great bands everywhere you go."
so now i'm in a bit of a fog. waiting for clarity. waving my hand around trying to find God's hand so he can lead me along.
i do have this glimmer of hope: that it's His deal, not mine. that if I let him, he can turn my blunders into beauty.
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